Ask Red

Ok you asked for it....here's some samples of my weekly 'advice' column...ha ha ha

Dear Red,
A guy called me up for a date and my phone cut out on me right after he asked me, and he thinks I hung up on him and keeps avoiding me now. I would’ve said yes, now what do I do?
Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused.
He’s not avoiding you because he thinks you hung up on him; he’s avoiding you because you have an inadequate phone service provider. I would recommend upgrading your service or switching networks and then you can “reconnect.”
Over and out,
Red

Dear Red,
If I sit with a guy during Sacrament Meeting, does that mean we’re a couple?
~Inquiring Mind

Dear Inquiring,
Well, that really depends on which side of you he is sitting. If he is sitting to your right, then you’ll surely be engaged in no time. If he’s sitting on your left, proceed with caution as this could be strictly friendship.
Hope he ‘chooses the right’,
Red

Dear Red,
I worry that my Sunday School teacher thinks I’m not listening in class because I’m reading my Ward Newsletter. What is the etiquette for reading the newsletter during church??
Sincerely,
An Avid Reader

Dear Avid,
If multi-tasking just isn’t your forte and your cover was recently blown by an outburst of laughter while reading your “scriptures,” you might try politely asking the teacher to allow a moment of silence in honor of the newsletter before class begins.
Read guilt free,
Red


Dear Red:
If a spaceship were to come and abduct you off to a different planet, what would you most miss about Earth?
Phone home,
E.T.

Dear E.T.,
Well that’s a tad dramatic, I don’t think I’d say getting married is the same as being abducted, but I guess I can see some similarities. I think what I’ll miss most are those amazing YSA dances, yup that’s it.
Up, up, and away,
Red

Dear Red,
I’m doing my best to flirt, but this boy is oblivious. Why don’t boys pick up on the hints? I’m a pathological flirt! Am I losing my touch?
Please help!
Flirty McFlirty

Dear McFlirty,
Don’t fret, it’s not you, it’s him. No matter how obvious your flirting may seem, I guarantee the boy has no clue. Guys are just not equipped to pick up on our subtle hints. Try a more direct approach such as announcing your flirtation beforehand. If that still fails, take the plunge and just ask Sherlock out.
It’s elementary my dear,Red

Ok that's enough for now...more to come later ;) enjoy!!